If i come over, it means nothing
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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