Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize