I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
