That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
