I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
