Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
