ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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