Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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