do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
