HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
