The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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