I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
