Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
