yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
