i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
