I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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