I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
