you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
