Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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