I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just cut my nipple shaving
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just found puke in my bra..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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