Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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