doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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