well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
