We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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