That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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