...so i touched it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
