I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
