A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
