I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
