you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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