I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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