I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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