How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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