there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
