Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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