I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
