Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
