I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize