Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
