So drunk its hurt
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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