I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
