am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I look better un-naked...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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