Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize