How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize