I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
