that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
