need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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