david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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