yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
