I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my phone needs a breathalizer
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
