i will never coherently bang her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
