it wasn't lemon gatorade
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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