So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
