So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sorry my hands just texted you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
