i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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