I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
