Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
