I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
