with your own penis?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize