This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
