He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
