Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
honey bunches of taint.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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