as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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