ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
