Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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