i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
...so i touched it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
