So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
