Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
