You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
