really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize