Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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