ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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