i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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