Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
