I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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