ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
