I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
