I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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