And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
