just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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